Q. What do you call an elf that sings?
A. Elfis
Q.What do you call a kid who doesn't believe in Santa?
A. rebel without a Claus

Q: What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
A: Claustrophobic.

Q: What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
A: "It's Christmas, Eve!"

A boy breaks an old vase at a rich uncle‘s house.
The uncle gets extremely angry and yells: “
Do you even know how old the vase was? It was from the 17th century!”
The boy sagged in relief: “Oh, good that it wasn't new.”

I've always thought my neighbors were quite nice people.
But then they put a password on their Wi-Fi.

A girl asks a boy: "Peter, how much do you love me?"
The boy looks her in the eyes, "Look up at the stars, that's how much I love you."
The girl is confused, “But it's morning, there are no stars?”
Boy nods, "Exactly!"

When I look at chocolate, I hear two voices in my head.
The first one says: “You need to eat that chocolate.”
The other voice goes: “You heard. Eat the chocolate.”

Which country's capital is the fastest growing?
Ireland's: every year it's Dublin.

Some call Climate Change a cliche
But Santa knows better than they.
He sees ice receding
And knows he'll be needing
A set of pontoons for his sleigh.

I hear Santa has gotten quite mad
At a hacker Elf with his iPad
Who stole all his lists,
WikiLeaks now insists
They'll publish who's good and who's bad.

With the last present gone from the sled
“Back home” shouted Santa and sped,
‘Cause now his new aims
Are not Reindeer games
But Mrs. Clause warming their bed.

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