I do not enjoy computer jokes. Not one bit .

I changed my iPod name to Titanic. It's syncing now .

When chemists die, they barium .

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst .

A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran .

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid.  He says he can stop any time .

How does Moses make his tea?  Hebrews it .

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Than it dawned on me .

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore .

A guy got arrested playing the guitar for fingering A minor .

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down .

I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words .

They told me I had type A blood, but it was a Type- O.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

PMS jokes aren't funny, period.

Why were the Indians here first?  They had reservations .

Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz .

Energizer bunny arrested -- charged with battery .

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me .

How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it !

Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils ?

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble .

What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds .

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!

Broken pencils are pointless .

I tried to catch some fog. I mist. 

What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary?

A thesaurus.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest .

I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx .

All the toilets in New York 's police stations have been stolen. Police have nothing to go on.

I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

Velcro - what a rip off !

Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.

Venison for dinner? Oh deer !

Earthquake in Washington obviously government's fault.

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure .

Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too .