YOU KNOW YOU'RE A BOMBAY KATLIK WHEN...

 

You and your girlfriend are 'friendly'.
You've never had a grandmother, you've always had a Nana.
The same goes for Dada...
You jive to hip-hop.
Bastard is baashturd.
And baashturd is always preceeded by bleddie.
And if the DJ doesn't play the 'masala' he's a bleddie baashturd and you
feel like jhaaping or clipping him.
You never say Mumbai.
Mazgaon is mazgon, Mahim is Mayhim, Borivali is Brivli, Bandra is Banruh
And you are a Mayhim boy or a Banruh girl.
Portugal is your favourite European country.
Every sentence you say ends with 'men'.
And most sentences you say begin with 'cheh men'
Women are 'chicks' and men are 'buggers'.
When you disagree you say 'balls'.
Irritating person = swine, fodhiya or chooth.
The old people in the family call you 'puta'.
You know 13 Savio's.
You've been living in Bombay all your life, but you're actually from Goa or Mangalore.
You don't like Remo too much, but if a non-catholic doesn't like him, you'll kick his arse for it.
Your Hindi is a little better than Michael Jackson's.
You claim you can't speak Konkani, but in reality, you can use it to win the Nobel Prize for literature.
Christmas is not happy, it's merry.
Suits are black, dark blue and grey. Only!
Sunday is chicken curry day.
Your freezer is filled with last years Sorpotel, which if U heat and eat
with pao no, its damn tashty men.
When you order pav bhaji, you eat more pav than bhaji.
If you're Goan you hate Mangies and vice-versa.
Both Goans and Mangies hate East-Indians a little.
Your bar has an okay amount of booze. 365 days of the year.
And you 'have some wine also men' for the women who don't drink.

 

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